It is perfectly normal that when you first split up the idea of trying to get your ex back is not going to feature too heavily on your mind. This is often due to the range of emotions that are coursing through your body at this point, but after the pain and perhaps the anger has subsided, then your thoughts on the matter may start to change.
The difficulty now is that you may have no idea as to how you can win them back, but the following tips may prove to be quite useful if you find yourself in this situation at this moment in time.
Useful Tips on How To Get Your Ex Back
- Do not allow them to just walk over you
If you were accused of just being a bit over the top during the relationship, then make sure you do not go to the other extreme and become a pushover. They will want you to still be able to stand up to them, just perhaps not as much as you did before, so think carefully about what went wrong earlier and try to change it even just slightly.
- Never shower them with gifts
Flowers and chocolates may sound good to get your ex back, but they are useless if your ex feels as if that sparkle has been lost as they will need to rediscover that before they come back. Focus more on trying to rekindle that feeling without the bribery of gifts.
- Think about what sparked off the relationship in the first place
The chances are that the start of the relationship was wonderful, so think about why this was the case and what changed between then and the end. People do change their thoughts and feelings, so try to pick up on comments that indicate they like certain things about you and focus on those to try to rebuild that initial chemistry and quite often the thing that you think it will get your ex back will tend to be something that you think is pointless.
- Never try the jealousy route
People often think that if you make your ex jealous, then they will come running back, but this is not the case and it is a dangerous game to play. In actual fact, if you take somebody else out for a drink soon after you break up, then your ex is going to feel as if they meant nothing to you and the chances of them coming back will be almost zero.
- Never stalk them
Declaring your undying love and not leaving them alone is only going to make the situation worse as they will only want to distance themselves from you even more than they already are. Harrassing somebody is only going to put up more blocks in their mind, so give them space and time whilst just letting them know you still care.
- Consider getting professional help if asked
By being open to something such as relationship counseling it lets them see that you took the relationship seriously and are willing to change your ways to get them back. This is certainly something that can work for men as they are well known to hate the idea of going to somebody else for some help and it may show another side to you that your ex had never previously seen and this could help to tempt them back into giving the relationship another shot.
- If you need to offer an apology, then do so
If you were to blame, then always make sure that your apology is sincere and heartfelt as this can go a long way to building bridges that were previously broken. Do not just say you are sorry and leave it at that, but instead go into a bit more detail as to the reasons why you are sorry and lessons that you are going to learn so it never happens again. This will then show that you have put some thought into it and it is not merely you uttering a few words in an attempt to get back your ex.
Clearly there is no guarantee that any of these tips will work as it does depend on why you split up in the first place, but it is certainly worth trying them in order to get your ex back. Be sincere at all times and never be reckless because if you are, then your chances of winning them back will be virtually non-existent.