Are you asking, “How do I save my marriage?” While that is definitely something you should be asking, especially if your marriage is having issues that seem irresolvable, you may also want to ask how you can make relationship last. Once you figure out how to make your relationship last, you will have the answers you need to save your marriage.
What Happy Marriages Contain
The best way to figure out how to resolve your issues and start having the marriage you want is to look at marriages that have lasted a long time, and have had more ups than downs. Once you do, you will notice that there are a lot of similarities between these marriages. I am talking about happy marriages that are not full of regrets, anger, or any other negative emotion. Following are the three most important traits that connect long-lasting and happy marriages.
A high level of trust. A happy marriage that lasts has to have trust. Without trust, arguments arise and issues are harder to let go of. If you want to save your marriage, then trust has to be there. This means that if you have been betrayed by your spouse in some way, you have to learn how to let go of the anger or hurt and trust again. If you can’t, then you may never be able to experience a truly happy marriage.
A mature way of handling communication. Arguments and misunderstandings stem from miscommunication. Proper communication allows you and your spouse to discuss things in a way that ends with positive results. Proper communication does not involve yelling, blaming, the silent treatment, or bringing up past issues. It involves talking and listening with respect, compassion, and understanding.
A lot of respect. If you don’t respect your spouse then how you can expect to treat them with respect? You have to hold a high opinion of your spouse and value them (and vice-versa) if you want to have a relationship that satisfies you both.
Trust, proper communication, and respect are essential in order to have a healthy and happy marriage. With those three things, issues can easily be worked out, and the needs of both people in the marriage can be met.
A Happy Marriage Starts With You
It may be easy to blame your spouse and say, “They don’t trust or respect me, and they never communicate in a good way with me.” However, if you take a look at yourself, you will likely find that you are the same way on some level. If anything is going to change in your marriage, it has to start with you.
For instance, if you have been trying to get your spouse to go see a therapist, and you are receiving a lot of resistance about the idea, then you may want to go by yourself. Learning how to incorporate the above traits in yourself, will help you influence your marriage in a positive way. In addition, once your spouse sees that you are starting to become a different person, they will likely want to start changing as well.
Even if you don’t want to go see a counselor, there are plenty of self help books out there that explain the principles behind a healthy marriage. They will help you view your partner, your marriage, and yourself in a different way.
Can Your Marriage Really Be Saved?
Almost every marriage can be saved with the right combination of knowledge and action. However, there are some rare occurrences where a spouse does not want to learn how to have a happy marriage, or take the action to have a happy marriage. If your spouse is like that, then you may not be able to save the marriage.
This often happens in abusive relationships. The abuser has no interest in giving their spouse the respect they need and deserve, and the person being abused has a choice to either continue receiving the abuse or end the marriage and start living a life that they really deserve.
Are you still asking, “How do I save my marriage?” If you are, then remember, you can only do so much to save your marriage. You can change the way you interact with your partner, your marriage, and yourself. However, if your spouse does not want to change themselves, then it is up to you to take control of your own happiness.